The Captain's Favorite Things
by Singing Violin
Summary: A parody of the "My Favorite Things" scene from the Julie Andrews movie version of "The Sound of Music."


Title: The Captain's Favorite Things  
Rating: K+  
Summary: A parody of the "My Favorite Things" scene from "The Sound of Music" (movie version with Julie Andrews).  
Author: Singing Violin  
Disclaimer: Neither the television show, nor the movie, nor any of the characters described herein are mine.  
Feedback: Please.  
Archiving: Anywhere.

_Captain's Personal Log, Star Date 50547.1_

_I can only hope that we were sent into this godforsaken quadrant to prepare us for something greater. However, I am thankful for the wonderful friendships I have developed here. I'm glad of our journey just because it meant I got to meet B'Elanna, Neelix, and Kes, and have had time to get to know Tom, Harry, and the Doctor. Although this is not the nursery of choice, I am fond of little Naomi and believe she and her mother are in a friendly and healthy environment. Hmm, I think I'm forgetting someone…_

The hatch to the Jefferies Tubes quietly opened, and a grungy figure crawled out. The captain pretended not to notice, and went on with her log.

_About B'Elanna, I hope she knows that I am her friend, and that she would be comfortable telling me what she's been up to._

The dirty figure looked up at her captain, stricken. "Are you going to tell on me?"

"Sssh," was her only reply before she continued with her log.

_I would like to be understanding so that I may guide her footsteps. End log._

B'Elanna stood in front of the captain, looking guilty. "I was repairing a phase coupler and the hatch was jammed, and I was afraid of an overload because of the storm, so I found the quickest way out. I didn't expect you to be in your quarters. You're not going to tell Tuvok, are you?"

Captain Janeway smiled slyly. "You've used that hatch before," she observed.

Torres stared for a moment, then quietly nodded. "Once, when we first joined the crew, and we were going to play a prank on you…but Tuvok caught us and we had to abort at the last minute."

"I'll have to thank him when I get a chance," the captain mused as she made her way towards B'Elanna's still-open entrance. "What kind of prank?"

"Uh," answered Torres uneasily. "We were going to release a bunch of Rancalian spiders…"

"Spiders!" cried Kathryn, carefully fastening the hatch back in place. Then, not wanting to dwell on her visceral reaction, she turned back to the engineer. "Were you all by yourself in the Jefferies Tubes?"

B'Elanna nodded, then stopped, then shook her head.

The captain grinned and headed towards her dresser. "You can use my bathroom to change." She grabbed a nightgown from her drawer and threw it at the younger woman. "You could put this on. Put your uniform in the refresher, then come back and sit on the bed, and we'll have a little talk."

As she ushered B'Elanna into the bathroom, the half-Klingon stopped and looked her in the eye. "I told you today that I didn't need a captain telling me what to do. Well, maybe I do."

Janeway closed the door and made her way towards her bed, flipping the covers while jumping backwards to avoid any possible spiders. Relieved when no unexpected creatures were present, she turned the bed down again and sighed.

Just then, the doorbell chimed. Almost before she could utter the word "come," a small child came running towards her and jumped into her arms.

"Naomi! Are you scared?" she asked. "You're not frightened of an ion storm, are you? Just stay here with me. Where's your mother?"

Sheepishly, Sam Wildman rounded the corner. "I'm so sorry, Captain!" she said. "The little one wandered out and I had no idea where she was going…"

Janeway smiled. "That's quite all right. I wonder where the others are…"

"They're asleep! They're not scared!" uttered an emboldened Naomi.

Kathryn looked at her. "Oh, no? Look!"

The doors to her quarters had not yet closed, and Kes, Harry, and Neelix jumped inside and stood against the wall.

Janeway sighed again. "All right. Up here on the bed."

She jumped into her bed and the others followed. She smiled. "Now, all we have to do is wait for Commander Chakotay and Lieutenant Paris."

"You won't see them! They're brave!" said Kes.

Just then, the ship shook, and two more figures ran into the room.

Suppressing a laugh, Janeway addressed them, "You boys weren't scared too, were you?"

"Oh no, Ma'am," replied Paris. "We just wanted to make sure you weren't."

"That's very thoughtful of you," the captain praised him as she pulled a pair of slippers out from beneath her covers.

"Oh, no, it wasn't my idea!" said Tom. "It was Chakotay's!"

"Chakotay! That's the one I left out," she muttered to herself, "I'll have to amend the log later…"

Chakotay looked at her. "Excuse me, Captain?"

"Nevermind," she answered, hoping he wouldn't ask any more questions.

Just then, the ship shook again and the lights flickered.

"Why is it doing that?" asked a worried Neelix.

Captain Janeway explained, "The ion storm is interfering with the power converters, but there's nothing we can do until we've passed through it. It won't hurt us. It'll just be a bit annoying for a while."

"I understand, Captain," answered Neelix, "but it feels like something's angry at us. It makes me want to cry."

Janeway smiled. "Whenever I'm feeling unhappy, I just try to think of nice things."

"What kind of nice things?" asked Kes.

"Hmm," answered the captain. "Coffee, and starfields, and Indiana summers…"

She began to sing:

_Ensigns in talent shows, freshly brewed coffee,  
__Landing a starship and making salt toffee,__  
Nebulas bursting with newly-formed stars,  
Tom Paris playing with ancient gas cars!  
Coffee in teacups and coffee in big urns,  
Non-substitute coffee so hot that it burns  
First officers that don't run when the cap' sings,  
These are a few of my favorite…_

Her voice trailed off as she noticed the aforementioned first officer was the only one left in the room. She blinked. "Where did everyone go?"

He chuckled. "I guess your singing was scarier than the ion storm." Boldly, he added, "I'm not sure, though, whether it was the voice or the lyrics that frightened them more."

She pouted. "Why are you still here?" she asked.

"Well, I was about to leave," he admitted, "when I heard your last lyric. Am I really one of your favorite things?"

She smiled, "Without a doubt…as long as you're obedient."

He grinned back at her. "Well, I'll reciprocate then. You're one of my favorite things, as long as you don't sing."

Playfully, she slapped him. "Now that everyone's gone, the bed feels kind of empty," she admitted. "Care to join me?"

He winked. "I'd love to, but I don't want to be bitten by the spiders."

Alarmed, the captain jumped out of the bed and into the commander's arms.

Startled, he wrapped his arms around her until she sheepishly pulled away.

He looked questioningly at her. "Don't ask," she warned.

"Okay," he answered obediently. "How about if I just do this?" As he spoke, he gently pushed her against the wall, leaned forward, and kissed her.

The lights flickered again, but they didn't even notice. The only thought that occurred to Captain Janeway was that she was unlikely to forget Chakotay ever again, even if she were too busy to correct the log...


End file.
